tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9354502359258278152023-11-16T07:18:12.169-05:00It's Copacetic Everything's JakeIt's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.comBlogger166125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-20975531833529522192015-01-10T17:58:00.000-05:002015-01-10T17:58:09.438-05:00Blood Letting 101 . . . <div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #363636; font-family: proxima-nova; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">I have Hemochromatosis and the treatment is blood letting. I suppose leeches would do but I prefer the be treated in a medical facility.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #363636; font-family: proxima-nova; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Hemochromatosis is an iron disorder in which the body simply loads too much iron. This action is genetic and the excess iron, if left untreated, can damage joints, organs, and eventually be fatal.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #363636; font-family: proxima-nova;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Funny thing is I would never have known without having a regular blood test. When the level of iron became to high my regular doctor send me to a blood specialist. The hematologist ordered an MRI of my liver to make sure the iron had not started to store. Thank God my liver is okay ... I need it for processing chardonnay.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #363636; font-family: proxima-nova;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">I had my third treatment yesterday ... for the past three months a pint of blood has been taken from me. Each time I go I have had a different nurse work on me and each time I learn something new. It's amazing what you talk about with a complete stranger who is watching the blood drain out of you. Yesterday I told the nurse that I noticed after the second treatment that my face wasn't as red as it use to be. I always thought I had a ruddy complexion ... nope ... once my iron level is normal my skin will be nice and pale. </span></span></div>
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I have the month of February off and in March I will have blood tests done and see the blood doctor. She will then determine how often I need to have the blood letting done in order to keep the iron at a normal level. </div>
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I will be very tired for a few days but that's it ... and I have never minded needles ... so I feel pretty lucky that it was found and I am being treated. But I would really love a nice filet mignon and those will be few and far between for me now.</div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-36532299432914266812014-08-15T19:47:00.002-04:002014-08-15T19:47:18.732-04:00Everything happens for a reason ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was sitting on my front steps reading ... It seems the only thing I do these days ... when I get home from work I force myself to eat a few bites of something and then retreat to the sunny front steps and read. I have gone through books this summer at an alarming rate (for me anyway) ... always buying them ... my sister tells me I should go to the library and check them out ... but I tell her that if I love a book I want to keep it so I can read it again like watching an old movie over and over. I have had no energy at all for months . . . thought it was part of this depression ... I have heard that people who are depressed can't seem to enjoy or do things that they once loved ... I don't even want to iron ... and I love to iron. Forget washing the kitchen floor or vacuuming the cat hair ... I went to the Dr. on Tuesday and was told that I needed a B-12 shot . . . The Dr. told me that the level of B-12 in your blood should be 1100 and mine is 270 ... she said "you must be exhausted" ... "I am and depressed as hell" ... So there I was Thursday night reading and a car slowly pulled up in front of my house slowly the window rolled down and an old woman asked if she could speak to me. I went down to her and and she pointed to a house across the street and one house down and said "I live there and it's not that I watching you, but I am old and have nothing better to do than look out my window all day." She told me that a cat circles my house all day as if doing guard duty ... a fluffy gray, brown cat. She wanted to know if it was my cat ... I told her I had two cats in the house but that I had been feeding this stray cat for 3 years and had named him Smokie. I explained that Smokie had disappeared a month ago and I have not seen him since. She had not seen him recently herself. What I did not tell her was that I didn't realize how much I care about that old cat until he licked my shin and looked up at me like he cared for me that morning he disappeared...Now knowing that he guarded my house everyday ... circling it over and over only made me sadder. She told me it was finally nice to meet me after all these years ... She said her name was Mary ... I said "very nice to meet you Mary I am Sharon ... I have lived here for 23 years ... 20 with my ex- husband and 3 by myself" ... "Men" she said and shook her head as if she knew my story ... we both laughed and I said "maybe you knew my Grandfather, Alfred Jacobson, this was his home." She lowered her head ... I thought she was trying to remember ... when she raised it she had a big smile on her face ... "Roy (as his good friends called him) was your grandfather ... Roy was a friend of my husbands and mine ... those boys loved their drinks!" (I wanted to say I'm pretty fond of mine too) ... Then she looked puzzled and said I remember him saying several times that a Jacobson will always live in that house ... I told her how on his deathbed he had made me promise that a Jacobson would always live in his house ... and how I was the only person with him when he took his last breath ... and isn't it ironic that here I am living here and now with my maiden name back ... a Jacobson. So everything happens for a reason ... if I hadn't been so exhausted everyday I would have done other things and not just sit on my front steps and read ... and I never would have met Mary or known about that fluffy cat and his guard duty ... and I would never have known that a statement my grandfather made some 60 years ago ... I have been able to make true ...</div>
<br />It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-52283310450301829292014-05-05T18:51:00.000-04:002014-05-05T18:51:03.465-04:00... there should be video cameras on me at all times<div style="text-align: justify;">
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I have said it before ... I can't make this shit up ... and there should be video cameras on me at all times. This post truly should be titled "too much information" ... so feel free to stop reading now. A few weeks ago I realized I had not done laundry in a week and decided it was time to do some ... my laundry room is in the basement and I avoid the basement unless I need clean clothes ... spiders and bugs and such. Upon entering the laundry room I noticed that there a thick layer of garbage in the bottom of the double sink that my washing machine drains into ... after a lengthy spew of foul language ... I got some old rags and a trash bag and scooped all this goop into the bag ... sprayed the sinks down with a cleaner and ran the water to clean the sinks ... but the water did not drain ... plunger in hand I set to work. NOPE ... the water was not going down. Of course then I began to worry .... how much is this going to cost? ... what if it's a huge problem? ... I will have to take a loan against the house? ... I'll never get that new car because of stupid plumbing ... I had Martini therapy that night and that usually makes me sleep like the dead but Nooooo I laid awake all night. I called my plumber the next day and explained the situation and he said to call his sewer guy and have the main sewer line snaked to the street ... I called and set up the appointment. These two rather large gentlemen (and they both were large and gentlemen) one named "Moose" (in his mid twenties) and the other "Boss" (early thirties) set to work. They opened the main sewer line and snaked it to the street bringing home some lovely tree roots. That line was clear they had me run the water in the bath and it proved the line was now running. They then ran the water in the in the double sinks and the water would not go down ... they huffed and puffed and plunged and the water still wouldn't go down. They got the small snake and set to work ... after a while Moose said "I got it" and pulled something up. The Boss said "yup those feminine products will do it every time." He says "you live here alone" as if to make sure it's mine ... "Yup ... just me!" Now here is where the story gets good ... with the water logged and obviously used tampon swinging in the hand he has pointed at me he says ... "Really lady ... not a good idea to flush these" ... I said "I get it ... and I am a little uncomfortable with you holding that" ... The drains were clear and it only cost me $184 to be completely humiliated. A side note ... I have now seen enough plumbers crack to last me a life time ... </div>
It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-77465013052202422782014-03-14T12:50:00.000-04:002014-03-14T16:59:05.252-04:00<b>TRUTH ...</b><br />
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<span class="hw" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold;">truth</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"> </span><span class="pron" style="background-color: white; border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 158, 131); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; cursor: pointer; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">(tro̅o̅th)</span><br />
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<i>n.</i> <i>pl.</i> <b>truths</b> <span class="pron" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(128, 158, 131); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; cursor: pointer;">(tro̅o̅<i>th</i>z, tro̅o̅ths)</span><br />
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<b>1. </b>Conformity to fact or actuality.</div>
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<b>2. </b>A statement proven to be or accepted as true.</div>
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<b>3. </b>Sincerity; integrity.</div>
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<b>4. </b>Fidelity to an original or standard.</div>
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<b>5.</b><br />
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<b>a. </b>Reality; actuality.</div>
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<b>b. </b>often <b>Truth</b> That which is considered to be the supreme reality and to have the ultimate meaning and value of existence.</div>
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Truth be told ... all I ask is for the truth ... I am very easy to please ... just tell me the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts ... but it is what it is and living in a lie is not living. When my marriage of twenty years (based on lies) ended three years ago I vowed never to be with anyone ... family, friend, or lover ... that was not honest with me at all times. Living with the truth one is able to make decisions and function in reality. Lies are not reality. Only in reality is one truly living. Sincerity ... honesty ... integrity ... these are the qualities I look for in a friend. </div>
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Imagine then the shock and awe of realizing that someone you completely trust with all your being has been lying to you on so many levels ... recently I was brought back to the place I was in three years ago ... asking myself what was wrong with me ... why was I not worthy of a friendship ... a relationship of respect and truth. </div>
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It took some time for me to realize that there is nothing wrong with me ... that expecting that from someone that you trust is normal ... believing that someone you love cares for you, has integrity and won't hurt you ... </div>
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I believe that for every wound comes a lesson and I have to learn from this ... what I will learn from this is still a mystery ... but as I heal I will figure it out ... I know one thing that I learned three years ago ... not all people will hurt you ... not all people lie ... sometimes I am just so blinded by my love for the other person that I can't see the forest for the trees ... caring deeply for people isn't wrong ... it just sometimes weakens your ability to see their inability to care as much for you as you do for them ...</div>
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Know this ... finally confessing the truth, when it should have been told right away may lesson your guilt (assuming you are capable of guilt) ... but it causes the person you lied to so much more pain that you couldn't be honest from the start ... </div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-85880772180872248472013-12-05T17:56:00.000-05:002013-12-05T17:57:59.293-05:00'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all ...<blockquote style="color: #222222; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 19px; margin: 1em 40px;">
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I feel it, when I sorrow most;<br />
'Tis better to have loved and lost<br />
Than never to have loved at all. (Alfred Lord Tennyson 1850)</div>
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I have been in mourning for a month ... 30 days and several hours to be exact. I have never felt anything like this before. Oh sure I was in pain when my marriage broke up ... but not like this. It has been almost 3 years since that pain and it was different. I was betrayed and lied to and all after being treated like crap for years. I felt stupid and gullible for staying in that loveless marriage for all those years. But as my mother pointed out to me on Thanksgiving ... it didn't hurt like this because I was not in love with him. </div>
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But I am learning some valuable lessons from this pain ... Just because I want it doesn't mean I can have it ... (most people figure that out when they are 5 not 50) Doing the right thing is hard and doing the wrong thing is easy ... I may never feel love again but I felt it and I never truly did before and so yes it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all ... no matter how much this hurts. A friend asked me 2 years ago if I wanted the roller coaster or the merry-go-round and I chose the roller coaster ... so it is my own fault.</div>
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High school taught me one lesson ... sad to say this is really the only lesson that has stuck with me all my life ... the class was Science but the teacher was more of a philosopher than science teacher ... He said "for as high as you go ... you will go that low ... appreciate the good because the bad will come" I stumbled upon this verse a few weeks ago ... Ecclesiastes 7 verse 14 "when things are going well for you, be glad, and when trouble comes, just remember: God sends both happiness and trouble; you never know what is going to happen next." So this is where I am ... waiting to see what will happen next. The last chapter of my life was brilliant ... who knows what the next chapter holds ... but it has become abundantly clear that I have no idea what, when or where that chapter will take me. </div>
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I am reminded again of the quote by Lean Horne ... "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." I have always been able to carry the load no matter how heavy ... but this one is breaking me.</div>
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My friends all mean well with their words of encouragement and advice ... but they don't feel what I feel ... to quote Brandi Carlile "they don't know who I really am and they don't know what I've been through" ... but it is amazing to me what good friend I have and it helps so much to know they care. </div>
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Part of me holds on to a little hope (even though that makes me feel pathetic) ... but silence speaks volumes and right now the silence is deafening ...</div>
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Last weekend I broke one of my favorite things ... and it didn't bother me a bit ... reminded me that I would cry every time I drove by the house I grew up in ... until my sister's boyfriend Harvey died and then I realized things are just things ... but when you lose love that's something to cry about.<br />
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-22897564106672994922013-08-01T18:02:00.000-04:002013-08-01T20:22:33.203-04:00The Juxtaposition of the Dead and the Living . . .<div style="text-align: justify;">
I stumbled upon this beauty a few weeks ago ... very happy I had my camera with me. It frightened me and intrigued me all at same time ... which is a thrilling sensation that I remember from childhood ... that mix of curiosity and fear is a powerful combo ... I was sure at any moment some sort of zombie was going to get me ... and yet I kept going. The juxtaposition of the dead and the living was fascinating ...</div>
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To see so much life growing in and around something so dead was amazing ...</div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-37566008925367324852013-07-04T17:44:00.000-04:002013-07-04T17:44:54.207-04:00and the winner is ........AMY!<div style="text-align: justify;">
OK ... let me set the stage ... it is hot enough to fry an egg out there folks ... so hot at the Annual Delaney 4th of July Celebration ... most everyone is in the pool ... except for Sharon who decided to where white pants and a white button down man's shirt to look official in my job as judge of the "Annual Delaney Girl's Bake Off" (or "smack down" as I like to call it .... and this year it really was one!) </div>
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I was so hot that I went pool side and asked the kids to splash me .... bad idea .... I cooled off ... With a drink called Kinky to cleans my palate I was ready to begin ... I was sent next door to visit my friend Linda while to prep work was done ... When called back the 4 desserts were set before me ... </div>
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The biscuit in the bowl with a sprinkle of cinnamon and sugar, vanilla ice cream, fruit and whip cream (Stacy) was really good ... as was the the cheese cake tart with chocolate chips (Kate) and cheesecake bar with fruit (Lisa)... but the puff pastry with fruit, chocolate and sweet filling (Amy) was the winner! </div>
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Lisa was not happy!... within seconds of Amy being crowned the winner Lisa's cheesecake was headed for my face... I begged on behalf of my white clothes and was spared ... Amy not so lucky!</div>
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Another great 4th of July at the Delaney's!</div>
It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-79540597865985466262013-06-16T17:07:00.000-04:002013-06-16T17:07:00.096-04:00Smokie ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
The stray cat in my back yard who I have named Smokie is testing me ... I have been feeding him since last fall ... clipping off fur balls when I can and trying like hell to get him to trust me enough so that I can somehow get him to a vet ... get him cleaned up and try and find a home for him. When he first started coming around he was obviously injured ... two huge wounds on the his neck open and raw have since healed ... he never groomed himself at first but now cleans himself ... he lived the whole winter under a crawl space at the back of my house ... after each snow storm I would shovel a path to the spot and make sure he had food and water ... and how does the bastard repay me ... yesterday he killed two chipmunks. I feed the birds and the squirrels and the chipmunks (really just the birds but the others think it's for them as well) ... so what I am doing is basically giving Smokie a great hunting ground ... I am not a big fan of blood and guts ... </div>
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Thinking of a new name ... Killer </div>
It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-27531475060436930992013-06-08T15:50:00.000-04:002013-06-08T15:50:39.015-04:00For My Friend Joan ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have blogged about lots of friends and family ... I have blogged in the past to share pictures of my garden with my friend Joan ... but I have never really talked in depth about Joan. My friend Joan is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She is one of those people that I believe God put in my path for reasons that at the time I didn't understand ... but years later it became very clear. Joan is someone that I love with all my heart ... and would be truly lost without. I love Joan for more reasons than I can list ... but I will try to list just a few...</div>
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Several years ago I had a panic attack ... I had them before but nothing like this ... late one night during a bad snow storm panic swept over me and I thought I was going to die ... I ran outside thinking the fresh air would make me breathe ... but it just got worse ... I came back in the house and had no idea what to do ... I thought I was dying ... (if you have never had a panic attack you won't understand) ... I called Joan ... and she talked me off the ledge ...her calm, soothing, mothering voice and good advice got me through ... what I believe was one of the most frightening moment of my life.</div>
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My animals or the strays that I try to care for ... through the years have sometimes needed more than I was capable of ... Joan always gives me the best advise ... I can call her all hours of the day or night and she is always willing to listen ... offer suggestions and promise to do research (and she always calls back with answers) ... animals are her love and life!</div>
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We have spent many hours crying and laughing over our mutual children that are not ours ... children born to others and yet we love as though we gave birth to them ourselves ... each of us knowing that one gives to one what the other cannot and just happy that we as a whole fill in the gap when we are needed ...</div>
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When my marriage of 20 years came to a sudden halt ... I showed up on Joan's doorstep crying and asking for wisdom ... wisdom is what I got ... she told me only I could decide what was right for me ... no one else could live my life ... take care of me ... she hugged me and assured me I would be OK .. and I was ...</div>
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There have been many time I have asked Joan if what I was feeling was normal and she always tells me I am just fine ... even when I feel the craziest. </div>
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I am lucky and honored that Joan calls me friend ... </div>
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and now a few pictures for Joan ...<br />
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This is the peony that Joan gave me 20 years ago ...<br />
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my favorite ball ... another gift from Joan ...<br />
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and another ...<br />
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-15547228810948206332013-04-17T18:42:00.001-04:002013-04-17T18:42:57.011-04:00hope ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
I am struggling right now ... as I know many others are ... trying to wrap my head around what has happened. The feelings are similar to the feelings I had when my dad died in a car accident ... September 11 ... I feel helpless and am reminded that we ultimately have no control over our lives ... life is so fragile and so short and so precious. Human beings amaze me ... how could someone do something so horrible and yet look at the number of people who rush into a burning building to save a strangers life ... Most humans are good and the good outweigh the bad by huge numbers ... and it is the number of good souls that give me hope when all seems so hopeless. I struggle between crying and wanting to just start knocking things off my bucket list. Time heals all wounds and I know this ... two years ago my world was ripped apart and I thought it would never be good again and yet it is infinitely better ... life goes on ... but it is these experiences that make me want to be a better person ... make me want to stop and smell the roses ... make sure I always tell those I love how much I love them ... make sure my friends know that my life is better because they are part of it. For now anyway there is nothing I can do ... only try to process what has happened ... and be grateful for all good in my life ... and focus on hope ...</div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-48275798498046954002013-04-06T19:26:00.000-04:002013-04-06T19:26:47.965-04:0050 ... WTF ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
So on March 28th I turned 50 ... I am always reminded of the joke ... you're going to be 18 but you turn 50 ... sort of like spoiled milk ... turned. I had my yearly mammogram a few weeks ago and the woman said she got really good pictures and if there was any problem I would get a call to have additional testing. GOT THE CALL ... So I went back for more tests this past Wednesday to another facility with more advanced technology ... for a week I sang that song "I went sky diving ... and I love deeper .... gave forgiveness I'd been denying ... I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying" ... I felt like I was finally happy after twenty years of misery and now I was going to die. Of course when I signed in they had me as MRS. S and not as MS. J ... but I have insurance so I continue to have to be called Mrs. S in some ways ... checked in, I sit in the waiting room as close to the wall as I can ... and stare at the TV in the corner of the room ... I am aware of the man to my left ... I can feel him staring at me... after several minutes I look over at him and he smiles ... I smile back and stare at the TV again until I can't stand it anymore and look back ... he smiles again ... I kept thinking ... I hope he is not here for a job interview ... finally a very nice woman says Sharon S. I say "that's me ... well sort of" ... she brings me down a long hall and into the changing area and hands me a gown (so I thought) and says everything off from the waist up the tie is in the front ... after your changed have a seat in the waiting area ... I never thought when getting dressed that morning ... wore my dark grey tights and turtleneck with my grey blue sweater dress and black boots. Everything off from the waist up ... dress... turtleneck ... bra ... grab the gown ... oh no ... not a gown ... it's the latest thing in the world of the hospital johnny ... dun dun dun ... the 1/2 johnny ... just barely making it to my belly button which is wear the tights end ... so I head out to the waiting area where another woman waits in fear and she stares at me ... "hun" I said ... "never really thought while getting dressed this morning that I would look the Peter Frinkin Pan while getting a mammogram." She smiled ... some tension broke and she made small talk with me ... They took her in and another woman came out from the testing area to wait ... they took me in and took a few pictures ... I love when they have your breast in between the plates squeeze so flat and then have the nerve to say don't move ... like I could with my boob in a vice grip... back to the waiting area with the other victims of terror ... it's amazing how women who you don't know can bond with each other in these moments of fear that we share ... every time one of us was called back in for more photos we would say to each other "good luck". It amazed me how we shared intimate details of our lives with strangers and I had the wildest urge to say "how about we all go out for a drink after this." I didn't and I was one of the last to be release back to the world. The girls are fine ... the 75 lbs I have lost over the last 2 years not only reduced them from a DD to less than a D but also changed the tissue. Needless to say I slept that night for the first time in over a week... I had a dream I was flying around with Tinkerbell ...</div>
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<br />It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-87963949021636662322013-03-14T19:52:00.000-04:002013-03-14T19:52:26.303-04:00trying to blog ...When I first started this blog it was suppose to be about things that I liked ... things I thought were cool ... hence the name. Then it began to become more about food and my love for cooking ... slowly it evolved into a therapy place for my divorce ... and now I don't really know what it is about anymore. I find it hard to blog most of the time because there is so much I would like to share and yet can't and that keeps me away. So I decided today that I wanted to blog about all of the above. Getting back to the root of it some things that I like and think are cool ...<br />
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First and most important I believe it is very cool that soon ... very soon all of this will be gone and green will once again be my sanctuary...<br />
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I love that Zachary's favorite thing to do with me is play with my boots ... no toys needed ...</div>
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full moon ...</div>
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the dish Erika gave me for Christmas ...</div>
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and then there is booze ...</div>
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My love of cooking died along with my marriage and I have been trying to rebuild that relationship for the past two years ... cooking was my therapy a few years ago ... I would try to bury myself in trying new things to past the time in a very unhappy world. When my marriage ended so did my appetite and 75 pounds later I am still trying to get it back ... as long as I don't gain the weight back ... </div>
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tarragon, fontina, prosciutto di parma and veal ...</div>
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browned in butter finished with white wine </div>
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baby potatoes boiled then smashed and browned in butter and chives ...</div>
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zucchini, summer squash and onions ...</div>
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greens, herbs, beets, dried cherries, almonds and a balsamic dressing ...</div>
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Beef (Frigging) Wellington (HELLO ... so proud of myself) ...</div>
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twice baked potatoes ...</div>
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tart with apples, dried cherries and almonds ...</div>
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homemade winter squash ravioli ... </div>
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with brown butter sage sauce ...</div>
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braised fennel ...</div>
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sauce with meatballs and sausage ...</div>
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blueberry tarts ...</div>
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So I am trying ... and slowly I am enjoying the dance between me and the food ... I have come along way ... </div>
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Two years ago this week my world came to a crashing halt and I stopped eating and ceased to exist for a few months ... and slowly a new life was born and now everyday seems to bring new wonders and I marvel at who I am now compared to who I was 24 months ago ... It truly amazes me ... happy was always just a word never a state of being ... and fear was something that I had to deal with ... I am not afraid ... whatever life brings at least I feel it now ... I had the opportunity to talk to the X a few weeks ago ... Funny he wanted the end ... and at the time I didn't ... and in the end I know I ended up happier ... there was a note in his voice that let me know he was growing older while I am growing younger ... In two weeks I will be 50 and yet I feel like I am 18 ... that is the most wonderful feeling ... once at a funeral I got the best advice ... a man talking about his mother said "she always said 90% of what we worry about never happens and the other 10% there is nothing you can do about it ... just deal with it"... I took my 10% and turned it into gold ... </div>
<br />It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-65679879121714491062013-01-14T18:18:00.000-05:002013-01-14T18:18:41.585-05:00I have a toothache . . .<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have a toothache ... a month ago my Dr told me I had fluid in my ear and that could be what was causing the pain in my jaw ... thought maybe it was sinus ... nope ... this past Saturday it became oh so painfully obvious that it was tooth pain ... and for those of you that know the real me ... by Sunday it was a brain tumor ... we are talking serious pain ... I will on occasion take a motrin if I am in real pain ... yesterday I was taking 2 at a time and white knuckling it till I could take more ... so unlike me ... and the booze I consumed yesterday would make my brothers proud ... I called the dentist office at 9:00 this morning only to be told my dentist wasn't in until Tuesday ... the office manager told me she could get me in to see another dentist in the office today but I told her no ... "Dr Rounds knows how to block my punches" ... I only hit the guy once years ago but every time I see him he says "shall I strap you in the chair or will you behave today" he hit a nerve he deserved that punch. I am not a big fan of pain ... but for the most part I believe I have a pretty big tolerance for it ... this pain is bigger than me ... yesterday I begged God the release me from it and he could have my first born ... he then reminded me that I have no children and gave me a fresh dose for being blasphemous ...So I worked all day today and ate soft food ... and now I sit here in my blue fuzzy pjs trying to hang on till the next dose of motrin and contemplating what bottle to open and pour... 14 hours and 15 minutes and I will be in that chair and I know exactly what I am going to say to him ... "don't even think about sticking that metal hook or your little mirror thing in my mouth ... get me the novocain needle and pump that shit into my gums before you do anything or as God is my witness I will punch you again!</div>
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and the winner is!</div>
It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-52260415729538207892012-11-27T20:42:00.000-05:002012-11-27T20:42:15.903-05:00It's a Wonderful Life ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
OK ... so it has been a long time since my last post ... I did do one about the tree that fell in my back yard during hurricane Sandy ... but when I realized how bad things were in NY and NJ ... I thought who the hell am I to complain about one tree that took out my back yard ... so I didn't post it ... BUT ... lots of stuff has been going on and I have a few photo's to show ... I have a stray cat living in my yard ... I named him Smokie ... he will not let me come near him which leads me to believe that he is feral ... or has been abused badly and abandoned ... he is very sweet and eats every time I feed him ... which is as often as he will eat ...</div>
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My nephew Zachary turned five today ... all he wants to be is a Super Hero and fight crime so I made him a Super Hero cape and boots ... it was a big hit ... just not as big as the Spider Man skateboard that Aunt Lisa gave him ... thank God I had chocolate for him ...</div>
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This is the tree that took out my yard during Sandy ... I am very lucky that this is all that happened and I never lost power.</div>
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This is the still life I started about a week ago ...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDiCF19max6uTc2v_2W4nnNdeIubvKoLlHtXTBftNhmxYE-E7Itc87lvRDKQYB5Dn8I9I8B8wuocw19XTzN8Xl7EMrZZb2xa5LHyygx3o43TcZ__lIp60OX9XUu-mwk33nOdFvZxEZXkk/s1600/11-10-12+013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDiCF19max6uTc2v_2W4nnNdeIubvKoLlHtXTBftNhmxYE-E7Itc87lvRDKQYB5Dn8I9I8B8wuocw19XTzN8Xl7EMrZZb2xa5LHyygx3o43TcZ__lIp60OX9XUu-mwk33nOdFvZxEZXkk/s320/11-10-12+013.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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and the progress so far ...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtAQCOhlak0sNjQ0dpQSJ3aWrgltCy5Twd1V2Fcysl4JCBslLpmPTnn8faHiDcNe0zvxJUIge8K7EiQsFtiszwVx8mH3VwctyzVpGwVah7sGG9TKZ0wSos9UDhBhQkCgcV7TZfPHbx8go/s1600/11-24-12+012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtAQCOhlak0sNjQ0dpQSJ3aWrgltCy5Twd1V2Fcysl4JCBslLpmPTnn8faHiDcNe0zvxJUIge8K7EiQsFtiszwVx8mH3VwctyzVpGwVah7sGG9TKZ0wSos9UDhBhQkCgcV7TZfPHbx8go/s320/11-24-12+012.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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apparently I am in a martini phase ...</div>
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I sit here now (sipping a martini) contemplating my future and still trying to figure out my past ... sometimes I have these fleeting moments of clarity where I say "get your shit together girl" and then there are those times that I tell myself ... I was so miserable... for so long ... that I should do whatever I want ... and be 18 again. I try hard to give myself some slack and allow myself to just live and laugh ... because life is short and I am not getting any younger ... Every New Years Eve for so many years I would think ... I wonder where I will be next year ... and every year I would be in the same miserable skin ... living the same miserable life ... now I ask myself daily "where the hell will I be tomorrow" ... and it's a crap shoot ... sometimes I'm in a good place and sometimes not so much ... but I am never miserable anymore ... never ... and that makes my life ... a wonderful life ...</div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-65724160554785263502012-10-06T20:22:00.000-04:002012-10-06T20:22:26.823-04:00Fall ... <div style="text-align: justify;">
It is with mixed emotion that I write this ... I love the fall ... but I hate to see the summer end ... don't get me wrong ... I hate summer ... hate the heat ... I love the fact that it is cooler and I can wear my thousands of sweaters ... that the leaves are changing and so beautiful ... I have more energy ... but the change of seasons sometimes brings the end to other things ... enough ... </div>
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Today I worked all day in the yard ... trimmed the bushes ... worked on the front steps (which need serious repair that I can't afford ... so ... If you fall on them ... I didn't invite you to my house so you can't sue me) ... cut all my herbs and hung them to dry in the kitchen ... will miss fresh herbs until next summer (store bought is just not the same)<br />
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This coming Thursday I would have been married to #1 for 26 years ... funny how you can't remember what you had for lunch yesterday (I had nothing) but you can remember the pain of your youth so vividly ... </div>
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So I look forward to raking leaves (is that what the kids are calling it these days) and canning and jarring and baking bread ... and I look forward to fires in the fireplace and hopefully getting the damn beast done ... There are happy days ahead for me ... I just hope the happy days I know I want and deserve...<br />
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<br />It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-86279081391105461992012-09-16T20:07:00.000-04:002012-09-16T20:07:08.740-04:00The Beast is in the House!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Well ... the Beast is in the house ... at least I don't have to worry about the weather anymore. But now ... wtf am I going to do? This thing needs so much more work ... not to mention the creatures that could be living inside it ... and I don't like bugs or mice for that matter ... thank God for those two cats that drive me crazy. The little one loves to eat moths and the fluffy one... mice ... so I guess it's all good. </div>
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Now I have to do all the finish work and then add the final fabric ... I still can't decide what to do ...should I go with white like the side chairs??? or should I do something bold with color ... (I may have children in my house at some point ... you know sticky fingers and such) ... the #$%^&*~ cats are already investigating the Beast ... Leave him be girls ... he is my kill! I have sprayed him down with Lysol which should kill any mold and the cats desire to claw it.<br />
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For now he sits and waits for me to attack again ...<br />
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I went for a walk with a friend a few weeks ago and this picture keeps popping into my head ...<br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">For the past 18 months I have said repeatedly "I break rules now" ... I will forever regret not walking down this path ... I will go back someday and "do it" ... until then I will just imagine what lies ahead ...</span>
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I know ... I know ...</div>
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This is a shot inside that opening ... creepy ...</div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-25998055347902477252012-09-01T17:39:00.000-04:002012-09-01T17:39:20.803-04:00Beast Update ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
The Beast continues to beat me down ... try as I might, I think it may win ... but with the constant encouragement of friends and family ... I continue to fight the good fight. Enough said ... I think the pictures speak volumes. </div>
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I know, I know ... really Sharon ... old shirts as stuffing ...</div>
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at $21 a sheet for this foam ... you get why the old shirts ...</div>
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I have already spent $200 on something I may have to trash ...</div>
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and I am poor and cheap ... (but happy)</div>
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It was at this point that I thought ... sit and see how it feels ... and I did ... and my ass hit the ground ...</div>
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(another reason why there should be cameras on me at all times ...)</div>
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the repair work I did to the "repair work" someone else did ... obviously didn't work</div>
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So I flipped the beast over and thought of a new plan ...</div>
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and I believe this may have worked ...</div>
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Foam is in place ... now time to stuff and put the final layer of under fabric ...</div>
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then I have to go buy the fabric ...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKzxMeqbGxvXylH1HsQycKfNHTS9tuLOt5zcKyN5WpKDuBdvsaDVbq0vy7_v1EoetY1BNTRMGu89XUw0tEsInTNGw_vbVC_hx-f7aKhKmolM0tOGVbXI7QjF49WeOPMVdGGlQWq8gXbns/s1600/9-1-12+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKzxMeqbGxvXylH1HsQycKfNHTS9tuLOt5zcKyN5WpKDuBdvsaDVbq0vy7_v1EoetY1BNTRMGu89XUw0tEsInTNGw_vbVC_hx-f7aKhKmolM0tOGVbXI7QjF49WeOPMVdGGlQWq8gXbns/s320/9-1-12+002.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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That staple gun is my new best friend ...</div>
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... I'm going back out ... to slay the beast ...</div>
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with a little courage ...</div>
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It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-85105633832612741342012-08-05T17:00:00.000-04:002012-08-05T17:00:12.935-04:00Life is a card game ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkLIMd5Nhy6t_QaKs8epmwk2VwIgZPVPdjFiVGDGgD3VIvwQrNPAdw8wHIkjTWoaN0BrPJglm1uImnLYTt8ROAY0x74hYeX5wm2vqpdhuM5r0y6HulvUbTRgO6U7jMB5Ut07h4se_Q0CE/s1600/8-5-12+019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkLIMd5Nhy6t_QaKs8epmwk2VwIgZPVPdjFiVGDGgD3VIvwQrNPAdw8wHIkjTWoaN0BrPJglm1uImnLYTt8ROAY0x74hYeX5wm2vqpdhuM5r0y6HulvUbTRgO6U7jMB5Ut07h4se_Q0CE/s320/8-5-12+019.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Sometimes life is like a game of cards ... a crapshoot ... a gamble ... sometimes you have to look at the cards you are dealt and decide which cards to keep ... and which ones to throw away ... and hope you make the right decision. Sometimes you get the cards you want ... the cards you need ... then there are times you just have to fold. Sometimes you win the pot and other times you walk away with nothing ... but if you don't play the game you'll never know. Taking chances is what life is all about ... I think it's better to play the game and hope for the win and walk away empty handed ... than to never play and never know ... because when you play and lose at least you know you tried ... but when it's time to fold ... it's time to fold.</div>
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Keeping busy ... for me is the key to dealing with life when things are too much for me ... and as luck would have it ... I have a lot to keep me busy. This is how I have spent the past two days.</div>
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Transforming a huge room into all types of skies (with the help of my friend Sue) for Vacation Bible School at my church. I'm not pleased (I never am with myself ... part of what makes me ... me) but I believe that little kids will like it. It's not done yet but it must be 100 degrees in that room today and I just couldn't stay there one more minute. So ... for the next 5 days ... I have little kids to do crafts with for a few hours in the mornings and maybe they will distract me from my thoughts. </div>
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There is always plenty of this ...</div>
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The latest painting is coming along ... maybe I'll work on it after I iron ...</div>
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and there is always solitaire ... but that's one card game I don't like ...</div>
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because when you win ... your alone ... and no one knows you won ...</div>
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<br /></div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-27224437901871687562012-07-22T18:37:00.000-04:002012-07-22T18:37:59.964-04:00The Beast ...Winnifred Joyce Johnson watched me from heaven today ... and laughed. Joyce was Carl and Erika's Nana ... and she was one special lady. While the kids were young I would very often have to pick them up or drop them off at Nana's house. I would always comment on how much I loved her antique sofa ... "that old thing ... your crazy" she would tell me. When Joyce died I offered to buy it ... but her daughters told me to take it ... and my battle with the Beast began. <br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=935450235925827815#editor/target=post;postID=3154266162102614116">This is how the whole thing started ...</a><br />
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So I have finally started to rebuild the Beast ... Mother of God ... I got out in the yard at 9:30 this morning ... and the battle began again. This thing ... well look for yourself ...</div>
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fishing line is not usually used ... but I march to my own drum ...<br />
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See that burlap ... yup nailed it all in the wrong place and had to pull all the nails out<br />
and start again ... mother $%#@^& ...<br />
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I did take a break to set up my glowing balls ... I know, I know ... balls ...</div>
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I finally came in at 4:30 ... and crawled into the shower ... the beast may have won the battle today ... my finger nails are gone ... and there are not enough adult beverages to kill the pain in my body ... but I will win the war with the beast and one day I will sit victorious on him in my living room ... I may even spill red wine on him just for fun ... Bastard!</div>
</div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-36077445196753314192012-07-20T07:19:00.000-04:002012-07-20T07:19:48.605-04:00I miss my dad ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="background-color: white;">I lost my dad 15 years ago today ... doesn't seem possible. My father didn't have the easiest life ... parents divorced when he was young ... both got remarried and he was sent to military school. A little boy in what looked like a high ranking officers uniform ... who just wanted to go home. His mother had a second son by husband #2 and he lived with her. His father and second wife never had any children. I believe the happiest day of my dad's life was when he married my mom. 5 children later and working at a job he hated ... ehhh I don't know ... I just don't think his life was a walk in the park. </span></div>
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July 20, 1997 the x and I took my 3 nieces visiting from California to the x's family reunion summer party ... the girls had fun and entertained the crowd. It was getting late and I had told my mom I would have them back to her by a certain time and it was well over that time ... I decided I should call her and let her know we were okay and I would have them back soon. My mom's sister answered the phone ... I said "hey where is my mom?" ... my aunt (never known for her tact) said "she at the hospital ... your father is dead." Someone watched the girls and the x took me to the hospital ... the entire trip took maybe half an hour and I remember convincing myself the whole way that there was some kind of mistake. I entered the emergency room and found my mom and other siblings (except for my brother Al who had gone back to California the day before with his wife and 1year old son, leaving the 3 girls for the rest of the summer with my mom). I actually said upon entering and seeing him ... are you sure he is dead? He was killed in a car accident a block from my house ... his best friend was driving and he was going through a rotary where he should have yielded but didn't ... a man going 3 times the speed limit didn't stop and the impact killed my father. </div>
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The last time I spoke to my dad was 2 nights before he died ... he had pissed me off ... he asked "are you mad at me?" and I said "yes old man I am." Those were the last words I said to him ... and I can never take that back. My grandmother instilled in me very young to never go to bed angry at someone you love because you never know when one of you won't wake up. I wish those words where not the last I ever spoke to my dad. I wish I had said instead ... "you drive me crazy sometimes ... but your a good man who hasn't had an easy life and I respect and love you" ... those words wouldn't haunt me like the words I said. </div>
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The lesson here is ... you never know when your parents or siblings won't be there the next day ... never go to bed angry ... and tell those you love that you love them ... because you never know ...</div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-52469925478220933682012-07-16T19:13:00.000-04:002012-07-16T19:14:13.979-04:00Ironing ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've been ironing for the past two days ... it's one of the things I do when I need to think ... a mindless task that is somehow very satisfying to me ... a friend recently informed me that I am not blogging that much anymore ... and I'm not. Mostly for the same reasons I recently posted ... I can't. There are things I would like to talk about ... but can't ... and it's created this kind of writers block. Soooo ... like in a recent post I stated if I can't talk about things ... I'll just show pictures of things ...</div>
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Oh goody I still have more ...</div>
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Cheese Souffle ...</div>
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This is a butterfly that I watched grow from a caterpillar into a butterfly and then released it in my yard ...</div>
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it was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed ... </div>
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and has really helped me with my fear of bugs ...</div>
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June 21, 2012 . . . divorced . . . now starting chapter 3 ...</div>
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the bunny . . .</div>
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Playing with the Micro Macro lenses ... at Jim and Caroline's ...</div>
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Zachary and the slip and slide ...</div>
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Well ... then there is this ...</div>
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My sister-in-law Caroline is lucky and belongs to one of those produce clubs ...<br />
every week she gets a box of mystery vegetables ...<br />
I was lucky she was going on a mini vacation and she gave me some ...<br />
bok choy ... sugar peas and small white turnips ...<br />
but what to do with them?<br />
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not a big fan of the turnip ...<br />
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but I am a big fan of prosciutto ...<br />
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cooked together ... very yummy ...<br />
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cooked them quickly with a little sesame oil and Asian seasonings and<br />
added shrimp ... not bad ... <br />
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I won ... touche ...</div>
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<br /></div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-54564813890661795642012-07-04T18:52:00.000-04:002012-07-04T18:52:55.087-04:004th of July ... the Delaney way ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
So ... last year I was invited to the Delaney's for the 4th of July ... little did I know they had a plan for me. After an adult beverage (or 2) I was told I was the judge for the Delaney Girls Dessert Throw Down. Oh the drama was great ... 4 sister all watching and waiting as I sampled their creations. In the end I chose the strawberry cake made by Lisa ... (there was cognac in it ... go figure) the other sisters were disappointed but they were good sports. The news was reported to facebook in mere seconds. I arrived late this year after being lost in Peabody for half an hour ... and was greeted with a lovely glass of sangria. </div>
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There was food to eat, babies to play with and kids to splash me from the pool ... and then it was down to business ...</div>
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Kate ... Amy ... and Lisa last years winner ... </div>
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Stacey with a 4 month old just didn't feel it this year ...</div>
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The three entries ...</div>
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Kate's Cherry Berry Pie was the winner </div>
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(not pretty but tasty)</div>
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Amy made this cake (made with vodka) awarded second place (because of the vodka)</div>
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And last but not least Lisa's Rolo Cheesecake Bar very good</div>
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but so sweet ... I'm just not a sweet person ...</div>
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Lisa was not happy ... Next year should be very interesting ...</div>
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<br /></div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-59657549723605294512012-06-17T18:23:00.000-04:002012-06-17T18:23:25.967-04:00June 21 ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The soon to be X is ill ... has been for years ... we found out shortly after we were married 20 years ago. When we found out we were told it was terminal ... a disease that would slowly kill him. It is a disease that affects the liver. There are some treatments for this disease now and some completely arrest it in some patients ... not so in the X. He tried several treatments during the 20 years ... some slowed the progression ... but never a cure. The treatments ... a form of chemo therapy were brutal on him. I remember the Dr. telling me that the biggest side effect of this drug was severe depression and suicide. About ten years ago he was half way through a year long treatment. It was about 8:00 in the evening and he called me upstairs. I found him lying in bed ... windows were open ... it was a beautiful evening ... the sun was still shinning and the neighborhood kids were outside laughing and playing. He said "today is June 21 the longest day of sunlight in the year ... and I feel like I am dying, promise me that every year on June 21 we will do something special" ... and I made that promise. Every year on June 21 we would remember ... We have not lived together since March 23, 2011 ... I have no idea what he did on June 21 last year ... I don't remember what I did either ... On Thursday ... 4 days from now it will be June 21, 2012 ... and we will meet at 8:30 in the morning on the steps of the Cambridge courthouse and we will get divorced at 9:00. I'm a big fan of irony ... always have been.</div>
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<br /></div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-74648709064387496882012-05-29T19:25:00.001-04:002012-05-29T19:32:40.789-04:00Finding Joy .........<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have had more swift kicks to the gut than I care to remember. Thought that because I had received such a severe one 14 months ago that I was somehow now immune. Stupid, stupid girl ... Life is going to kick you in the ass over and over. Earlier today while sitting in the back yard ... swollen red eyes and all ... I looked up and said "why me" and then it hit me ... why the hell not you ... There are plenty of people out there worse off than you ... so you got kicked in the gut again, stop being doubled over in pain and stand up. Ya ... I never had a child ... wanted one badly ... had that stolen from me ... but there are people who have had them and had to watch them die ... who the hell am I to feel bad for myself. I've had plenty of pain in my life ... but better to have loved and lost than never to have loved ... and all that crap. I'm breathing and for now I am living and I need to remember how lucky I am that I have people who love me no matter what. I may never have what my grandmother had ... but I had my grandmother to tell me it's possible ... and that's enough to get me through. </div>
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Then I saw it ... the peony opened and I realize I have joy in so many small things ... and that helps with the kicks to the gut ... and I hope I never change ... I hope no matter how many times I get kicked I can get back up and find joy. That plant grew in that spot and for 17 long years never had a flower ... there is hope for me and I believe that I will be happy again ... I just hope I don't have to wait 17 years ...</div>
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<br /></div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-935450235925827815.post-54667280991199592962012-05-25T19:44:00.000-04:002012-05-26T14:18:09.528-04:00The Happiest Place on Earth ...<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's funny my sister often refers to Kappy's (a local liquor store) as the "happiest place on earth" ... not that we enjoy a drink mind you ... it's just that it gets her all warm and fuzzy when we walk through the door. Today I visited my "happiest place on earth" ... well next to my back yard ... my back yard is truly the happiest place on earth for me ... but Mahoney's in Winchester MA is #2 ... This place is massive and I could spend hours there and dream ... if only my wallet was bigger ... </div>
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This is where I bought Bernard last year ... he now grows proudly in front of my house ...</div>
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Funny that bleeding hearts are my favorite flower ... </div>
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So I got my herbs and they are in the pots ...</div>
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Nasturtium is edible the flowers are bright and beautiful in salads and very peppery </div>
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Mints ... Peppermint, Spearmint and Chocolate mint ...</div>
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Parsley and Cilantro</div>
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Basil</div>
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Lemon Balm and Lemon Verbena</div>
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French Tarragon and Pineapple Sage</div>
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Rosemary and Chives</div>
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Marjoram and Oregano </div>
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Savory</div>
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Thyme and Lemon Thyme </div>
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Usually having the herbs in makes me so happy ... today was bitter sweet ... I have my herbs and my bunny is hopping around my yard ... the birds are singing ... and I am sad ... but if the last 14 months has taught me anything it is that I am strong and resilient and whatever happens ... I'll be okay ... </div>It's Copacetic Everything's Jakehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16727087787496256280noreply@blogger.com2