analyze this

For those of you who visit on a regular basis or those of you that know me personally....well.... I've been going through a bit of a rough patch lately.  And because of that I have been unable to cook, which is a problem because in exactly one month I have to cater a dinner.  I've been really trying to be strong and get through this "THING" I'm dealing with, but for some reason the thing I love to do the most (cook) I can't do.  (Any shrinks out there want to take a stab at it...I'd love to know what you think.) Part of the problem is that in the past 7 weeks I have not been able to eat very much either (which isn't so bad as I am down 32 lbs since Christmas) So I told myself today that I needed to cook something for myself tonight that I love and that may snap me out of it.  There is this dish at a local seafood restaurant that I love.  It is a pasta dish with small piece of salmon with a cream sauce with dill, sherry and peas. May not sound good but very old New England type dish.....anyhoo I made myself some.

I had exactly 4 bites....granted it is very rich..... no thank you....so I've got this bowl in the fridge if anyone wants some.

For Barnaby....

My friend Barnaby asked me to post some of my artwork.  I have taken a sample of work from the past several years.  I met Barney in 1986, I was young and in love.... with someone else, but part of me fell for Barney.  Then I married his best friend (at that time and place, Sicily)  and Barney married a beautiful Sicilian girl and the four of us had a year of fun and fights and in the end with one failed marriage under our belts we all walked away. Looking back I wish I had married Barney.  Oh, we would have gotten divorced just like me and the other guy, but the journey to that divorce would have been Oh so much more fun.  Barney and I have stayed in touch through the years...sometimes not talking for a few years but we always manage to find each other.  For him it is easy I've been in the same house for 19 + years, for me not so easy.  First Japan where he met wife # 2 and then back to the states.  A few years ago he called me from Africa, he and his wife and kids had been there for a while and were heading back to the states again.   I found him recently on facebook just in time for my life to take another crazy turn.  I have only a handful of truly good friends in this life.  The ones you know will listen and care about you.  Barnaby is one of those friends. 

Barney any critique you give is welcome and by the way.....Mochten Sie Treppe erscheinen und sieht, dass einiger von meinem atzt?

it is what it is.......

Paths...

I shall be telling this with a sigh 

Somewhere ages and ages hence: 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- 

I took the one less traveled by, 

And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

Today was my 48 birthday....what path lies ahead, I do not know, but I welcome it with open arms!

moments

There are moments in life that define you.  Moments that shape you and make you who you are. Moments that literally suck the life breath out of you, kick you in the gut and drive you to your knees.  But it's not in the moment that you are on your knees that defines you.  It's the moment you stand back up.   Lena Horne said "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it."  So I'm carrying it and it's heavy.  Sometimes I have to stop and rest, sometimes I drop it, but I pick it back up and carry it down the road.  The road has changed too.  For so long the road was straight and smooth and I could see for miles.  Now the road is bumpy and curved with many hills and I can only see a few feet ahead at times .... but I can see .... and I will carry it.  

I hope someday the road will be straight and I'll be able to see for miles again. I hope the load gets lighter and easier to carry.  But for now I am carrying it and it's changing me ... I hope for the better.  There is always hope and rebirth and spring. 

Sandwiches!

Had some family over today and decided to make a variety of sandwiches as the meal.  I love a good sandwich....something warm and melted is always nice.

These are not warm or melted ... but they are my favorite sandwich.  Prosciutto, mozzarella, tomatoes and basil with just a smear of mayo...yum...soooo good.

Pizza dough layered with assorted cold cuts and cheeses and another pizza dough on top and Bobs your man you have a calzone.

This is smoked salmon, gruyere cheese, preserved lemons and chives, grilled ... so delicious!

And last but certainly not least ... Croque Monsieur, ham, gruyere, bechamel, grilled ... YUM.  

Leftovers ... anyone?

Antique Inkwell

Saturday I went to an "Antique Fair" held at a church in town.  This is an annual event that my sister, mother and I attend every year.  I tell myself every year that I will not buy anything, but I always do.  Nothing big...but there is one rule, I absolutely have to love the object.  AND I DO!  My sister thinks I'm nuts she doesn't find anything about this object interesting or beautiful.  Drum roll please........

The guy who sold it to me said he didn't know the origin of it but he has worked in antiques all his life and never seen anything like it.  The hinge is very old and very delicate so I know it must be pretty old.  So cool....