As winter approaches ... I am just a touch apprehensive. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder or S.A.D. A lot of people do, I never realized there was a name for it or that it was even a real disorder. For me I just get depressed in the winter. The cause is lack of sunlight which causes a lack of vitamin D which causes depression. Last winter I had myself on vitamin D supplements and I have a natural sun lamp at work (thanks to my good friend Joan.) Thing usually tend to start getting bad for me by February and by mid March I'm clawing the walls. I think I was doing pretty well last year....but then things came to a screeching halt mid March....and for the life of me...I can't remember...not a blessed thing for months. I know that my family and friends were in constant contact and that I had a strong support system...but for the most part I just coasted almost drugged. So I have no idea if the vitamin D and sun lamp worked ... but we'll find out this winter.
The summer is completely gone and fall is here....it's in the 60's today and the wind is whipping and leaves are falling. I finished my switch box today, I actually finished painting it 2 weeks ago but I still had to put the protective coating on and I did that today. An old friend stopped by while I was giving it the final coats and we talk for quite a while. She was married to Joe's best friend when I first met her and then she married my brother Jim for a short time. She and I had been pretty close friends for a few years... but she moved on and my brother move on and we stopped having regular contact. We would see each other once in a while and wave or say hi. We talked like old friends today about my divorce and hers. We both agree that everything in this life happens for a reason, pain you go through makes you who you are and in the end hopefully everyone is happier on the other side. It was really nice to talk with her.
I am not completely happy with it .... but I am never completely happy with anything I do....low self esteem and all. But it is done and I am checking it off the list.
The seasons are an amazing thing to me. I have always marveled at time. It struck me very early in life how much your life can change in such a short time. How one minute someone is alive and well and then two weeks later dead and buried without even a pause to grasp what has transpired. Lately all I think about is time.... a good friend of mine keeps telling me that "time takes time," ... and of course everybody says "time heals all wounds." I guess with me I don't want to waste anymore time. I've wasted enough. I have so much I want to do and so many things I want to see and experience. I am not saying my life has been a waste of time I'm saying I have wasted my time not living my life to the fullest.... and I intend to do just that. I plan to see...taste...feel and enjoy what time I have left on this earth.
Fall has always been my favorite season...I love the leaves and colors.... I'm very lucky that I live in New England all four seasons are so dramatic here.
We took Jenna out for a foliage ride last Saturday...
I believe the most beautiful tree in all New England is the one in front of my house.
It has just started but by the time it is finished it will be spectacular.
