So on March 28th I turned 50 ... I am always reminded of the joke ... you're going to be 18 but you turn 50 ... sort of like spoiled milk ... turned. I had my yearly mammogram a few weeks ago and the woman said she got really good pictures and if there was any problem I would get a call to have additional testing. GOT THE CALL ... So I went back for more tests this past Wednesday to another facility with more advanced technology ... for a week I sang that song "I went sky diving ... and I love deeper .... gave forgiveness I'd been denying ... I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying" ... I felt like I was finally happy after twenty years of misery and now I was going to die. Of course when I signed in they had me as MRS. S and not as MS. J ... but I have insurance so I continue to have to be called Mrs. S in some ways ... checked in, I sit in the waiting room as close to the wall as I can ... and stare at the TV in the corner of the room ... I am aware of the man to my left ... I can feel him staring at me... after several minutes I look over at him and he smiles ... I smile back and stare at the TV again until I can't stand it anymore and look back ... he smiles again ... I kept thinking ... I hope he is not here for a job interview ... finally a very nice woman says Sharon S. I say "that's me ... well sort of" ... she brings me down a long hall and into the changing area and hands me a gown (so I thought) and says everything off from the waist up the tie is in the front ... after your changed have a seat in the waiting area ... I never thought when getting dressed that morning ... wore my dark grey tights and turtleneck with my grey blue sweater dress and black boots. Everything off from the waist up ... dress... turtleneck ... bra ... grab the gown ... oh no ... not a gown ... it's the latest thing in the world of the hospital johnny ... dun dun dun ... the 1/2 johnny ... just barely making it to my belly button which is wear the tights end ... so I head out to the waiting area where another woman waits in fear and she stares at me ... "hun" I said ... "never really thought while getting dressed this morning that I would look the Peter Frinkin Pan while getting a mammogram." She smiled ... some tension broke and she made small talk with me ... They took her in and another woman came out from the testing area to wait ... they took me in and took a few pictures ... I love when they have your breast in between the plates squeeze so flat and then have the nerve to say don't move ... like I could with my boob in a vice grip... back to the waiting area with the other victims of terror ... it's amazing how women who you don't know can bond with each other in these moments of fear that we share ... every time one of us was called back in for more photos we would say to each other "good luck". It amazed me how we shared intimate details of our lives with strangers and I had the wildest urge to say "how about we all go out for a drink after this." I didn't and I was one of the last to be release back to the world. The girls are fine ... the 75 lbs I have lost over the last 2 years not only reduced them from a DD to less than a D but also changed the tissue. Needless to say I slept that night for the first time in over a week... I had a dream I was flying around with Tinkerbell ...
