Thank You Friends.....

It was just about a year ago that I called my friend Barnaby and said basically ... "talk me off this ledge" ... Barney and I have been friends for 27 years ... the last time I saw him was 25 years ago ... but not seeing friends doesn't make them any less friends ... he talked me off the ledge ... and carried me many months to safety ... and since that time I have re-connected with old friends and made new friends that have also helped me along this journey ... some of these friends I have known since high school ... it amazes me how someone you knew when you where 17 can be such an important influence at the age of 50 ... (well I'll be 49 in a few weeks ... but who's counting) ... some friends are brand new ...others are friends I've known for years ... my friends Joan, Shirley and Candice make me laugh at myself ... in spite of myself ... and make me look deep into myself ...  my friend Donna has opened my eyes and made me see life in it's sometimes cold, hard state ... she was the one who said  "go home and research"  ... my best friend and sister Lisa has been my rock ... she has literally carried me this past year ... she and our friend Carmela made me walk through the woods for the first few months and just ponder ... and in the past few months I have been in touch with another old friend who has made me realize that I am not old ... and not boring ... and not worthless ... I am young and exciting and valued ... and I realize now that all this pain I had was not in vain and that it is not in my time that things happen ... but God's or the universe or the higher power that controls all things ... whatever your own religious  belief or life style chooses to call it ... there are forces in the universe ... and in the end ... it is each and every thing we see, feel and do that shape who we are and what we become ... and I would not be who I am if I had not gone through every experience in my life ... I have become very aware this past year that it not in the giant moments ... but in the small quite ones that life is lived at its best.  There are so many wonderful people who have been so good to me this past year ... and I could name each and every one ...  but I have not received a shiny gold statue ... although I do believe in many ways I deserve one ... so I will not bore my readers any further ... I just wanted to take this opportunity on the 1st anniversary of my new life to thank my mom and siblings, my sisters in law, nieces and nephews, pretend children and all my wonderful friends for the love and support ... last March when this was still so fresh I was asked how I was coping and I said "I heard once that when a woman is left she either shrivels up and dies or she blossoms ... I intend to blossom" ... I can hear my sister in my head right now ... you were not left ... you asked him to leave ... I believe I have blossomed and I continue to bloom ... and it feels good ...