Wednesday, December 7, 2011

No more tears ...



This building looks perfectly harmless.  It's actually very plain on the outside, nothing frightening about it at all.  The inside is beautiful ... the oak woodwork is simply gorgeous.  I have had to go into this building maybe 7 or 8 times over the past 9 months ... and every time I do when I'm leaving I barley get the huge oak door open to the outside without starting to cry.  The first 3 visits were the worst I could hardly manage to step outside before I would just start sobbing trying to get to my car ... people staring at me ... I must have looked insane.  Each time it was easier, but always I would cry ... the past few times I didn't sob but had to brush tears away and swallow hard to keep it from coming.  Yesterday I had to drop off some papers.  I pushed that huge oak door in and stepped in.  The reception area is just inside the big door ... the secretary smiled and said hello Sharon ... I said hello ... would you see that my attorney gets these papers please ... thank you ... I turned, open the door, walked down the stairs and stopped ... I wasn't crying ... I was smiling ... I'm not afraid anymore ... I'm going to be fine ... no matter what ... 

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