The Beast ...

Winnifred Joyce Johnson watched me from heaven today ... and laughed.  Joyce was Carl and Erika's Nana  ... and she was one special lady.  While the kids were young I would very often have to pick them up or drop them off at Nana's house.  I would always comment on how much I loved her antique sofa ... "that old thing ... your crazy" she would tell me.  When Joyce died I offered to buy it ... but her daughters told me to take it ... and my battle with the Beast began.

This is how the whole thing started ...

So I have finally started to rebuild the Beast ... Mother of God ... I got out in the yard at 9:30 this morning ... and the battle began again.  This thing ... well look for yourself ...

fishing line is not usually used ... but I march to my own drum ...

  See that burlap ... yup nailed it all in the wrong place and had to pull all the nails out
and start again ... mother $%#@^& ...

I did take a break to set up my glowing balls ... I know, I know ... balls ...

I finally came in at 4:30 ... and crawled into the shower ... the beast may have won the battle today ... my finger nails are gone ... and there are not enough adult beverages to kill the pain in my body ... but I will win the war with the beast and one day I will sit victorious on him in my living room ... I may even spill red wine on him just for fun ... Bastard!

I miss my dad ...

I lost my dad 15 years ago today ... doesn't seem possible.  My father didn't have the easiest life ... parents divorced when he was young ... both got remarried and he was sent to military school.  A little boy in what looked like a high ranking officers uniform ... who just wanted to go home.  His mother had a second son by husband #2 and he lived with her.  His father and second wife never had any children.  I believe the happiest day of my dad's life was when he married my mom.  5 children later and working at a job he hated ... ehhh I don't know ... I just don't think his life was a walk in the park.  

July 20, 1997 the x and I took my 3 nieces visiting from California to the x's family reunion summer party ...  the girls had fun and entertained the crowd.  It was getting late and I had told my mom I would have them back to her by a certain time and it was well over that time ... I decided I should call her and let her know we were okay and I would have them back soon.  My mom's sister answered the phone ... I said "hey where is my mom?" ... my aunt (never known for her tact) said "she at the hospital ... your father is dead."  Someone watched the girls and the x took me to the hospital ... the entire trip took maybe half an hour and I remember convincing myself the whole way that there was some kind of mistake.  I entered the emergency room and found my mom and other siblings (except for my brother Al who had gone back to California the day before with his wife and 1year old son, leaving the 3 girls for the rest of the summer with my mom).  I actually said upon entering and seeing him ... are you sure he is dead?  He was killed in a car accident a block from my house ... his best friend was driving and he was going through a rotary where he should have yielded but didn't ... a man going 3 times the speed limit didn't stop and the impact killed my father.  

The last time I spoke to my dad was 2 nights before he died ... he had pissed me off ... he asked "are you mad at me?" and I said "yes old man I am."  Those were the last words I said to him ... and I can never take that back.  My grandmother instilled in me very young to never go to bed angry at someone you love because you never know when one of you won't wake up.  I wish those words where not the last I ever spoke to my dad.  I wish I had said instead ... "you drive me crazy sometimes ... but your a good man who hasn't had an easy life and I respect and love you" ... those words wouldn't haunt me like the words I said.  

The lesson here is ... you never know when your parents or siblings won't be there the next day ... never go to bed angry ... and tell those you love that you love them ... because you never know ...

Ironing ...

I've been ironing for the past two days ... it's one of the things I do when I need to think ... a mindless task that is somehow very satisfying to me ... a friend recently informed me that I am not blogging that much anymore ... and I'm not.  Mostly for the same reasons I recently posted ... I can't.  There are things I would like to talk about ... but can't ... and it's created this kind of writers block.  Soooo ... like in a recent post I stated if I can't talk about things ... I'll just show pictures of things ...

Oh goody I still have more ...

Cheese Souffle ...

This is a butterfly that I watched grow from a caterpillar into a butterfly and then released it in my yard ...

it was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed ... 

and has really helped me with my fear of bugs ...

June 21, 2012 . . . divorced  . . . now starting chapter 3 ...

the bunny . . .

Playing with the Micro Macro lenses ... at Jim and Caroline's ...

Zachary and the slip and slide ...

Well ... then there is this ...

My sister-in-law Caroline is lucky and belongs to one of those produce clubs ...
every week she gets a box of mystery vegetables ...
I was lucky she was going on a mini vacation and she gave me some ...
bok choy ... sugar peas and small white turnips ...
but what to do with them?

not a big fan of the turnip ...

but I am a big fan of prosciutto ...

 cooked together ... very yummy ...

cooked them quickly with a little sesame oil and Asian seasonings and
added shrimp ... not bad ...

I won ... touche ...