I've had some stressful days the past few weeks. It seems I can't get out of my own way. I feel like I go two steps forward and then one back. I'm so tired but keep waking up earlier and earlier. I have always been the type of person that could juggle a few things at once....but this is just ridiculous. I have so many things going on that I literally can't breathe.
The past two Saturdays I have been wedding coordinator for two wedding at my work. (I am a church secretary and any weddings that my boss is not performing I handle, it's extra cash for me) Both were different cultures and both operated on their home time. The first was a Haitian couple and the bride should have walked down the aisle at 5:00 p.m., I had the church open and everything ready to go at 4:00 the first guest didn't arrive until 5:15, the preacher arrived at 6:00, the bride at 6:30 and the groom around 6:45. She took her stroll at 7:10 and at 8:30 the limo driver started turning the lights on and off. The building should have been locked up at 7:00, I locked it up at 9:00. The wedding today the couple is from Sudan. From what I have been told when this culture marries the entire community come to the wedding. Originally we were told as many as 1200 Sudanese might be at this wedding and our church is the only one big enough in the area to accommodate that many. The pastor officiating in the ceremony was an Episcopalian Priest. This guy was a hoot and we became fast friends. His church can only seat 425 ... so he had to seek out another place for the service. The Sudanese also seem to run on their own time and the wedding should have started at 2:00 but didn't start until 3:30 because the bride was so late. She was so beautiful and so nervous. Both couples were sweet and seems so in love. There is something so strange to me in watching young love, so fresh and pure unfold and take off into the unknown, while I'm going through this crazy divorce.
On top of the weddings I have the catering job looming and as much as I am looking forward to it I find myself constantly trying to prepare for some disaster....what if I burn a whole batch of this.....what if that is soggy ....too salty....too spicy....how the hell am I going to fix something last minute?????????? Everyone that I tell my fears to says "Oh God you'll be fine". I was having lunch with my "pretend" daughter Erika yesterday and the chef came out and asked us if we were enjoying his creation and we both said it was wonderful...there was a women I know at another table and she told the chef "she is a fabulous cook and if she complements you it must be good". I couldn't believe it ...this guy owns his own restaurant a she's telling him he should be honored that I liked his food. I have said a million times I wish I had the confidence in myself that others do. I try but I still wake up every morning thinking "Oh God ....what if the spring rolls suck."
Anyway........ after the wedding today my sister Lisa and I went to Rosebud a local vegetable & fruit market to get our rations for the week......
Could somebody please remind me that it is not humanly possible for me to eat this much fruits and vegetables in one week. 4 pears, 4 plums, 4 peaches, huge bag of white grapes, asparagus, zucchini, six heads of lettuce, tomatoes, celery, radishes, and what the hell am I going to do with all those lemons.....ooooo lemon sorbet maybe....like I have time for that.
Again anyway....after the wedding and the trip to Rosebud ....Lisa said she was going to walk the beach for some exercise did I want to go..... everything in me said Nnnnnoooooooo..... but what I said was "give me 10 minutes to change my clothes and put my groceries away"......it was the best split second decision I have ever made. We both put our plug in our ears and music blasting walked together but in solitude. I am now the most relaxed and happy that I have been in weeks....
We came upon these clusters of little birds .... at first Lisa thought that they were baby seagulls...
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